Man Cannot Live By Bread Alone!

I don’t recollect much of biblical studies in Religious Education classes at school. That being said, I can vaguely recall the part of the Gospel of Matthew in which he describes Jesus fasting in the desert.

During Christ’s abstinence from food, he writes the devil tries to tempt him to turn stone into bread to cure the hunger resultant from not eating.

Unmoved by this temptation, he tells the cloven hooved one:

“It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.’”

I’m not sure why this biblical passage crossed my mind, as they are an infrequent visitors to my cranial database. It did though and set me pondering about how biblical passages may have to be penned these days in our litigious society.

litigious

For example, if Matthew now wrote about man eating bread alone would he have to include health & safety info, serving suggestions and cautionary dietary advice? Would Matthew 4:4 read like this if written in 2016 AD:-

“Man cannot live by bread alone. Unless perhaps it’s Sainsburys ‘Taste the Difference’ ciabatta, which is lovely dipped in virgin olive oil, balsamic vinegar and a smidgen of rock salt.

ciabatta

Do not exceed the smidgen of rock salt, though, as too much can induce a stroke. Also if you’re a celiac use the gluten free option or oneth mighteth endeth upeth with the runseth!

If you suffer from a nut allergy, we cannot guarantee this product is free from nuts. To be honest, even if you haven’t got a nut allergy we cannot guarantee this product is free from nuts.

If you haven’t got a nut allergy, though, you’ve no need to worry if there is nuts within the product. Unless you are a celiac, in which case you still need to ensure you purchase the gluten free option.

In the event you are not celiac and don’t have a nut allergy, but just don’t like bread I recommend the lettuce……. But make sure you wash it properly before eating.

Eating this product sat in the fast lane of the M1 motorway should be avoided at all costs, regardless of whether you’re a celiac, nut allergic or your bread recipe preferences.

Additionally, do not wear plastic bags on your head as you run the risk of suffocation!”

nut allergy

Of course, I’ve used artistic licence to manipulate the original words in Matthew 4:4 to suit the purposes of the tongue in cheek direction I wanted to take this narrative.

Matthew’s original words were really an attempt to convey was the strength of a man (Jesus), who it is said didn’t need conventional food to cure his hunger, just the words and guidance of his father.

To clarify, this blog isn’t a dig at religion or anti-christian. After all I have a faith of sorts, I’m just not really sure of what sorts, particularly after the last 5-6 years my family has endured, but it’s there if you dig deep enough.

I just thought I’d add that as I don’t want any over-sensitive believers to question my motives. Although, to be honest if you’re what I call a ‘Sunday Christian’ I really don’t care if I upset you!

By Sunday Christian I mean a person who goes to church on Sunday, sings ‘Bringing In The Sheaths’, prays for forgiveness while paying lip service to sermons; but as soon as they leave the place of worship behave in a deeply unpleasant and non-christian manner!

In my opinion, Christianity is about how you behave and following the teachings in the bible all week, not the insincere platitudes you spout on a Sunday. The recompense to your maker for the sole reason you’re terrified you won’t go to heaven if you don’t.

Of course, there are plenty of genuinely decent people who go to church who behave how they promise during worship. I admire those people of humanity, who have a genuine love of fellow mankind and a spiritual intention of improving the lot of the less fortunate.

I’m not advocating this hypocrisy isn’t the sole bastion of the Christian religion. All denominations have a percentage of followers who behave deeply unpleasantly. All of the while self-righteously sitting in judgement of others who may not cross the threshold of a place of worship, but behave in a far more decent manner than they do!

To close, I wrote above “By Sunday Christian I mean a person who goes to church on Sunday, sings ‘Bringing In The Sheaths’, praying for forgiveness and paying lip service to sermons, but as soon as they leave their place of worship behave in a deeply unpleasant and non-christian manner!”

I just want to clarify that I’ve nothing against people singing ‘Bringing In The Sheaths’ I just used that particular song as an example! …… So now you know!

bringing in the sheaths

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