I Wasn’t Expecting the Maggie Inquisition

I’m having the woodwork on my eves, soffits, guttering and gable end replaced. I tell you what, it’s the last flipping time I go to the doctors with back problems!

Seriously, though, I’m having the remaining external woodwork of ma maison removed aujord’hui and replaced with PVC materials.

Thankfully, we corrected Karen when we met with the salesman, when she affirmed her desire for the woodwork to be replaced by PVA. I know she meant well, alas though I’m not convinced glue in isolation is an adequate substitute for wood……. In a combination it’s a match made in heaven, but not in solitude.

I normally go to my parents on a Friday to undertake some of the heavier gardening jobs for my dad. However, as today is Thursday I won’t be! Incidentally, my dad does assist with the horticultural work, undertaking light tasks….. He changes the bulbs of his garden lamps, as and when required!

Norman Dog

My parents are visiting chez Strachan at lunch time; they are even bringing lunch, god bless them. Although, they are buying the sarnies on the way here not making them the lazy gets!….. You might think I sound ungrateful, after all they are paying for my lunch, and you’d be right!

Only kidding, I’ll be forever in their debt for the multitude of things bestowed on me by my parents; things I could never begin to fully repay. Anyway, I’ll change the subject  before you start welling up!!

I’m hoping the guys undertaking the PVC replacement work get most of the work done before my mum turns up. The speed of the blokes labour will diminish drastically after her arrival.

She will no doubt constantly interrupt them with questions of their families, holidays and if they watched Emmerdale yesterday evening.

My dad is the opposite and will hold his counsel, not engaging the PVC fitters in any conversation. Although in his defence he can’t get a word in edgeways when Maggie’s nattering goes turbo-charge.

My carbon monoxide alarm woke the house at 05.45am this morning. As the boiler had not been on for the previous 12 hours and following a series of tests (both inside and out of the home) thankfully it became clear it was a false alarm.

The alarm decided to kindly wake the whole chuffing house at that ungodly hour to inform a dishevelled Strachan family that its batteries replacing (the alarm not the Strachan family).

It took a removal of the batteries to stop the alarm sounding; bizarrely even though the alarm stopped the AA batteries continued ringing outside of the unit!

The batteries ringing outside of the unit of course didn’t happen. It was something that crossed my mind as a passable comedic scene while I was removing the batteries….. I enjoyed it anyway!

Well, I must make tracks as my mum and dad have just turned up. Maggie is laden down with sandwiches and a clipboard bearing a questionnaire for the PVC fitters…. They’ve no idea what’s in store for them, poor sods!

Finally, this morning my wife Karen told me about her friends quirkily named dog ‘Norman’. My spouse was excitedly telling me about this dog, who she advised was a bit of a cross.

I told her I’m not surprised he’s cross; if I was called Norman I’d be bloody furious!…… I’ll get me coat!

norman dog 2

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