A Landmark of Sorts

This is the 500th blog I’ve penned since I set up my website writesaidfred.org nineteen months ago. It’s been a fulfilling journey where I’ve fought my demons with pen not sword. Battles where scars have been healed not opened further. I’ve not won the war, but I’m in better shape to achieve that goal than before my literary jaunt commenced.

To celebrate I’ve upgraded my writing companions from garden centre ‘Pick & Mix’ and a glass of tap water to a bag of M&S wine gums and a litre bottle of still Evian water…… There’ll be no substandard gummy sweets at my 500th blog party, trust me!

I’ve surprised myself with how prolific I’ve been. In fact yesterday an acquaintance in Cross Gates said to me “I really don’t know how you do it!”….. She was referring to using the new barcoded car park ticket machine not my blogs, but I’d like to think she’d say the same thing if she ever got the chance to read them.

I started this venture on a whim, a prayer and a latent laptop at the end of last March, after backing myself to write at least one narrative a week. To my surprise I’ve managed to be far more prolific, averaging around five a week.

Predominantly light hearted fictional work (based on some truth), I find writing therapeutic and a good distraction from the more challenging situations I’m dealing with. I treat it as a sort of diary to how my state of mind has fluctuated since April 2015 onwards.

In generations hence, if any of my grandchildren read them they will hopefully smile and tell my kids “Blimey, granddad Gary was a right chuffing nutcase. How did you turn out so normally!”

Even, though, my adult children would rather have the board game Kerplunk, I tell them these hundreds of thousand words are my legacy to them. Although it has to be said, they aren’t confident they will raise enough money to buy Kerplunk from my work, so aren’t expecting to retire any time soon!

My monologues have been key in re-awakening the fact I knew a lot more stuff then I’d given myself credit for in the last decade or so.  I’ve accumulated a lot of knowledge over the years that I’d pushed to an unused neurological area, where I kept my dignity and the recipe for clams cuisine.

My family and friends have been really supportive in this short but productive literary period. Their regular visits to Frank’s Garden Centre for ‘Pick & Mix’ and informing me if my trouser flies were undone in mid-prose have proved invaluable.

To clarify the flies were open accidentally, not due to over excitement at my work. I enjoy writing blogs but penning them isn’t that exciting!

I still need to work on my grammar but am never short of ideas, which I guess is the main thing for creative writing. I’ve always argued that, regardless of your command of written English, the key to a good creative writer is the ownership of a fertile mind and shares in Staples.

As I keep hard copies of all of my work, I do spend a lot of money on stationery. Too much really! Not only can the cost of paper, printer ink and Lever Arch files be prohibitive at times, but it utilses storage space in our modest 3 bedroomed home…… In hindsight, perhaps I’d have been better giving the kids money for Kerplunk and only retain my work electronically.

My mum has a maxim about prudency that “If you buy cheap, you buy twice!” That has got nothing at all to do with this blog, but I thought I’d share it in the event you were wondering why your pound shop undies only last a week.

To bring this landmark blog to a close, I wanted to say thanks for taking the time to read my mainly tongue in cheek ramblings. The 15000 hits I’ve had on my website so far have made the hundreds of hours writing them worthwhile…….. Not to mention, I’m now only 4,985,000 hits away my target of five million hits.

One last thing! Can you in Nuneaton stop doing that when your reading my blogs please; you mucky beggar!

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