A Case In Point

A few days ago we had a family outing to the White Rose (WR) Shopping Centre in Leeds. I realise it wouldn’t be most families day out of choice, however with Alton Towers closed and our conference call to the Samaritans concluded, it seemed a suitable distraction.

We ventured to the out of town shopping centre on a whim. We had to go on a whim as my car wouldn’t start! It wasn’t the most comfortable journey I’ve experienced but beggars can’t be choosers.

On arrival at the WR Centre our first destination was Debenhams department store. We headed to this retail utopia at the request of our 23 year old daughter Rachel, as she was keen to upgrade her suitcase to one not emblazoned with pictures of Tellytubbies.

In this wonderland of consumer choice, my offspring spent an inordinate amount of time pondering over the most suitable product for her travel requirements. This selection process included wheeling cases back and forward as though vacuuming the floor.

After this lengthy period of contemplation, Rachel eventually opted for a large hard-sided case. This four wheeled monster was teal of colour and so gargantuan of size she was required to purchase road tax for it!

I pointed out to the vacuuming analogy to Rachel whilst she wheeled the luggage holder around. As she didn’t have a clue what vacuuming entailed, my daughter just looked back at me blankly …… I’ll have to get the magic fairy who cleans her room, cooks her meals and washes her clothes to explain.

After Karen had rung her superstitious mum to check that teal coloured suitcases weren’t  unlucky, Rachel paid for her hard-sided case and we headed towards the exit via a descending escalator

On our way out, a woman and her husband wheeled passed us with an identical suitcase. As we strolled through the cosmetic department towards the store exit, my wee missus engaged this couple in conversation.

My other half inquired if, like our daughter, they’d also just purchased their impressive hard-sided luggage holder in store…….. I didn’t catch their response, but according to my spouse they hadn’t; they’d just spent a seven night vacation in Debenhams haberdashery.

After my spouse had picked up a Debenhams Departmental Holidays brochure for 2017 by the exit, we headed towards the food mezzanine at the centre of the WR Centre, where numerous food franchise establishments reside.

Karen and I are on a ‘low self-discipline diet’ so went for a McDonald’s. Rachel, who is on a ‘high maintenance diet’ (she f***ing whinges no matter what we make her to eat) chose a jacket potato.

After we took our seats and I’d ritually picked out the gherkins from my Big Mac, Karen opened the travel brochure. “Do you fancy seven night break in Debenhams haberdashery, Gary?” she questioned, while scanning the glossy brochure pages.

“No way. That’s a ridiculous notion!” I proffered back. Before adding “I’d consider seven nights in the furniture section, though!”

At this point I carelessly discarded my burger in error, leaving me with just the gherkins I’d removed and the bread.

After sustenance (of sorts) we ventured to book our vacation; leaving for home shortly afterwards.

Despite being hungry after my sparse lunch, I returned to the Strachan abode in reasonable spirits with a seven night break in Debenhams furniture department to look forward to. Not forgetting a bloody big case we can borrow for this vacation.

Right, I’ll conclude this narrative now as I’ve chores awaiting…….. Does anyone know if I need a passport to travel to Debenhams furniture department?

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