Cushty

I encountered a new experience in movie watching on Saturday afternoon, when my wife and I ventured to the Everyman cinema in Leeds city centre, where we took in the movie La La Land.

The novel occurrence to which I refer wasn’t taking my wife out (although it is fairly rare), or the fact I didn’t trough a large bag of popcorn before the trailers had even finished (which I’ve been known to do).

No, I’m alluding to the overall customer experience that’s provided by the cinema within the city’s Trinity Shopping Centre. A venue recommended by my wife Karen after a recent excursion there with our daughter Rachel.

On our arrival we managed to secure the last two seats in the theatre where our movie was to be screened.

An affable girl, who we’d remunerated for the tickets, kindly informed Karen she liked her coat. In fact, she proffered that she’d recently purchased exactly the same Marks & Spencer overcoat.

With tongue in cheek, I mentioned to the young lass that she’d best double check the cloakroom as Karen had just stolen the coat from there….. Surprisingly, she nervously laughed at my comment, prior to hastily completing a restraining order application form.

My wife thanked the customer service assistant for the compliment about her long sandy camel coat. Adding “It’s refreshing for someone to say something nice about it. He says I look like the dodgy market trader Del Boy from Only Fools & Horses in it!”

In my defence I told her “Only because she thinks I look like the feckless Trigger (in the same show) in my black moleskin coat.”

After smiling at the two comments, the young assistant handed us our tickets….. I really wanted Karen to respond with the Del Boy catchphrase “Lovely jubbly!” on receipt of the tickets, alas though she let me down.

Image result for camel coat del boy

You might be wondering at this point of the narrative, what is the innovative customer experience I alluded to earlier….. Bear with me I’ll get there soon.

With tickets in hand, Karen and I ventured upstairs towards the bar and refreshment area. Following her selling a couple of Brolex watches she’d materialised from inside her coat, we ordered a coke and pizza each.

I realise you probably won’t be bothered about the type of pizza, but for completeness my order was a pepperoni and my spouses was a margarita……. Come back, it gets more interesting!

The pizzas were to be delivered during the trailers to Karen and my sofa in the theatre (where we would watch the movie).

That last sentence was the new movie going experience I’ve spent eight paragraphs building up to during this narrative……. Ok I admit it, I lied that the fascination levels would heighten when I finally got to my revelation.

The pizzas weren’t massive but they were tasty enough, the sofa (complete with cushions)was more comfortable than normal theatre seating. Additionally, the leg room provided was significantly more than in standard cinemas.

Even Stretch Armstrong, who sat on the adjacent sofa, seemed happy enough with the space he’d got for his recently pulled lower limbs.

Shortly after we’d consuming our pizzas the movie commenced.

With the pepperoni and coke repeating on me, the film took us on a sojourn with a broke jazz pianist and wannabee actress as they sought to fulfil their individual dreams. Thankfully, I had some ant-acid tablets to bring me some respite……. Incidentally, that’s from acid indigestion not the movie.

Apart from Karen attempting to sell me all sorts of counterfeit merchandise in a cockney patois throughout the screening, this movie watching experience made for an enjoyable Saturday afternoon. I’ll likely patronise their hospitality in the future.

One thing I’d say to the owners of this movie theatre, though, is don’t rely on making a fortune from my custom. After all, the last time I’d been to the cinema was when Live & Let Die came out in the early 1970s!

Cushty.

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