Are You Happy With Your Bins?

Just in case it’s not broadcast on this evenings 6 o’clock news, I’d like to announce that the interior of my wheelie bin was given a thorough jet blast this morning.

I’m not taking the plaudits for this piece of work, as it was undertaken by a mobile bin cleaner, diminutive of size and thorough of jet blast.

He has undertaken this work for my neighbours and me for a few years now; cleaning and deodorising the rubbish receptacles with a kind of love only he can countenance.

On a four weekly basis, this amiable guy makes an immaculate job of returning the interior of our black wheelie bin to the pristine condition of its delivery around 15 years ago.

The aromatically pleasing deodorising fluid he uses mean a short window, post-cleanse, where it’s not unpleasant to stick your head into the receptacle.

Why you’d want to shove your head in a wheelie bin, recently cleaned or not, is questionable. That being said, I admit to briefly undertaking this bizarre act after-clean in the past. An action taken to experience the pleasing fragrance of the bin deodoriser.

So if you ever see me with my head and shoulders hidden inside the lid of this vessel, fear not as I’m probably only sampling the gratifying bouquet of my recently spruced up bin……. If you ever see all of me jumping in then I’m probably playing ‘hide & seek’.

The more I think about it, though, there would be potentially other times I might stick my head into the bin. For instance, if I was unable to locate something of sentimental value in the house, such as a jar with some marmite left in it or the remote for my Netflix box.

The high quality of the mobile cleaners work, along with the low cost (£2.50, I think) make it a no brainer when it comes to deciding whether to utilise this man’s skills and enthusiasm for the task. Particularly when you think its an unpleasant chore that most people dislike.

It would be going a bit overboard to say he was the ‘bin whisperer’, however he does have a way with these wheelies that I’ve not previously witnessed. He cares for the rubbish vessels with a kindness and respect that has to be admired.

If the bins could talk, I’m sure they’d thank the guy for his devotion to their sanitation and general well-being……. Mine would also probably tell me to “Stop sticking your head inside me, you weirdo!”

Many years ago, my daughter Rachel, who was at primary school at the time, asked for her elder brother Jonny’s assistance with her homework. This entailed the creation of a questionnaire for a local council about the provision of their customer services. If memory serves me correct, this was a hypothetical exercise aimed at encouraging the pupils creativity.

Being the affable lad he is, Jonny spent some time produced an A4 questionnaire on Microsoft Word, which on completion contained around eight questions for Leeds Council Tax payers.

Rachel was delighted, her homework had been completed by her brother, while she was able to watch the animated version of the Disney movie Beauty & The Beast.

However, her joy was short-lived on reading the end product, after realising Jonny had asked people eight variation of the same question ‘Are you happy with your bins?’

I don’t recall if Rachel handed in Jonny’s effort as her homework, or decided to have a stab at it by herself….. I suppose that would have depended on if the Beauty & The Beast DVD had concluded.

I thought of this unconventional questionnaire, created by my son about 15 years ago, while penning this narrative.

If someone asked me at this current time ‘Are you happy with your bins?’, thanks to the roaming cleaner with his van laden water reserve, jet blaster and deodorising fluid, the answer would be an unequivocal “You bet your bottom dollar I am!”

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