Pretentious Prose

Wintertide At The Roundhay Fox

Parkland situ alehouse
Stout of porter and constitution
Thou comforting embers aglow
Warming soul and spirit from unwanted chill.Wintertide sanctuary from Theoi Meteoroi
Sustain thy children until time of bell
Till adieus fall silent from thy ears
And the Peroni pipes cease.

———————————————————-

The Road to Recovery

2014, bereft of identity, hybrid of accent
Self-induced annihilation of the yeti in the aircraft hanger
On the group selfie, negative identities say “cheese”
Smiling at their dominion over the half full brigade.

Ascension from the gutter sloth like
Notions of employability slow to diminish
Tergiversation of neurological mischief the catalyst
To thoughts of returning to the half full brigade

———————————————————-

But Out of Frank’s Life

Oh Francis ensconced at number 78
Apply caution as thy stack yon plate
Seek thine redemption in arable plenty
Like Marjorie Grimes from number 20

Heed mine warning well-meaning Frank
Ignore and you’ll walk life’s short plank
Thine maker awaits with his footman reaper
Ignore that the chips are 50p cheaper

Those argue that fat infuses taste
May diminish their longevity. What a waste
Address thy consumption for happier times
Oh shit, I’ve just run down Mrs Grimes!

———————————————————-

The Swords of Damocles

Multiple of personality, singular of support
Multiple of swords, singular of intent
Not by halves does Damocles toil
Unlike the tormented, he can multitask.

How long will the swords dangle
The rancid status quo best scenario of the afflicted
Hope upon hope thine misery exacerbates not
Men in black top hats hold thy distance…. Get back!

Where art thou respite?
Thick of thieves with karma, conspicuous by your absence
Does your mucker still exist or has he stopped keeping score?
Hold thy position still thee men in black

Six years endurance
People of medicine keeping the men in black at bay
Blind loyalty to yon unfeeling creators
Providing cover for their evading of raindrops

The yeti ponders how to reconcile
His role as scapecoat tormenting his soul
The solitary carer in an ocean of those who don’t
Thoughts of an eventual sun rise saveth

———————————————————-

Chasing The Star Spangled Dream

Exiled Scot From Lone Star State

Whimple clad Austrian governess

Chaste carer of seven, notation guides with

Do Re Me Fa So La Ti

Well meaning girl spreading larksong

 

Exiled Scot of Lone Star state

Dharma taught, advocate of Manjushri mantra

Om Ah Ra Pa Chi Nhah Dhih

Well meaning chant of righteous ideology

 

Girl of the oil rich state

Riches gained from sources of truth

Avarice of those in denial spurned

Faith unwavering despite Karma’s reticence to reconcile

 

Austin girl, thy suitor on white charger sought

Ne’r undervalue thine worth and contribution

Those who shout loudest mustn’t prevail

Their path often less enduring and true

 

Lassie of Caledonian ancestry

At times of doubt remember thine forefathers sacrifice

Leaving cold climes and poverty of the motherland

Travelling west for your star spangled dream

 

———————————————————-

Leopards with Immovable Markings

Repentance via hymn song and amen

Redeemed by your disingenuous Sunday words

Grinning kirk leavers, hasten back to awaiting moral high ground

Absolved of sins, given guilt free return to job judgemental.

 

Pointless promises from the misguidedly self-righteous

Who belief Insincere covenants and pew presence usurp actions

Carte Blanche given by pulpit orators, who sanction

The leopards redemption irrespective of their immovable markings.

 

What is the point of disingenuous Sunday words?

Yes thee, leopard with no intent to adhere to spiritual teachings

Why false promises to your Father and Son?

Cable TV and the less righteous impatiently await thy presence.

 

Why then leopard thine sojourn to Sunday kirk?

Thy fear of a heated final destination?

Misguided belief that your maker has stopped keeping score?

Or delusions it sanctions judgement over pesky pew dodgers?

 

Bear in mind leopard, whether pew dweller or not

Actions usurp thine lyrics insincere.

The pulpit sage’s admonishment of your sins

Bear more truth than your disingenuous Sunday words.

———————————————————-

The Stork and The Rooster

The stork and the rooster

Not of the avian type, despite peacock feathers

Source of beatitude, kin contentment

Gladful humanity pours from thy pores.

 

The stork and the rooster

Ne’r doubt thine calibre

Not inferior or usurping of peers

Learn and grow spirit from thy and pa’s faux pas’

 

The stork and the rooster

Fulfilment comes not with acquisition of riches

Contentment is in decency and compassion

Be happy with thy bins, they are only half full like thy glass

 

The stork and the rooster

Embrace positivity, spurn idiocy of fools

Offer not fake promises or falsehoods

Ne’r stoop to the lower standards of the spiteful

 

The stork and the rooster

Locutions can’t convey thy pater’s pride of thee

His legacy greater than lexilogical utterances

Squabble not over the memorabilia, books or sovereigns bestowed

 

The stork and the rooster

Maintain the path thine both tread

Ignore re-routed navigation of misguided folly

Be true to thyself mes beaux enfants

 

———————————————————-

Little Man

Self appointed family head

Bereft of love, apart from thy self

Demands respect undeserved

Little man chip, fishing for attention

 

Uneducated blark, vain glorious delusions

Thy face minus the proboscis removed by thee in spite

Robbed of memories by misguided stance

Verbal engagement a one way street

 

Inarticulate man, incomplete of sentence

Mashie niblic importance usurps that of kin

Head in bunker sand, or masonic posterior?

Luckily dual visages allows both

 

Real man doesn’t countenance culinary skills

Passes advice, his position of unworthy

I long for days you and your rancid betrothed

Are my existential recycle bin bound.

———————————————————-

Angel of the North

Mine Angel of the North
Diminutive of stature, gargantuan of courage
Stoically resists odious foe’s grotesque itinerary
Lion-like tenacity, spirit and determination your sabre
Pharmaceutical intervention your trusted shield.

Mine Angel of the North
Another birthday in thy family’s bosom
Defying odds, despite nemesis lingering like faeces on gleaming brogue
Foe’s eviction from family home shall never be
Yet smile unrelenting, domain illuminated by your whimsy

Mine Angel of the North
As balladeer John, you’re a legend
Struck at four and two score summers, yet bitterness no friend
Anger deemed futile, energy required for upcoming crusades
An unwinnable war, but battle victories proceed unabated

Mine Angel of the North
Selflessness undiminished by pain and fatigue bequeathed by rancid foe
Brood given unconditional precedence over thyself
The stork, rooster and I wish thee a glorious anniversary of birth
Thy contribution to our existential journey immeasurable

 

Ode to Summer Breeze

Unrelenting summer breeze

Seemingly perennial companion of solar rays and precipitation

Diminishing comfort of suns flares in thy spite

Diminishing anthropilan pollen hauls

Diminishing once sturdy structures with thine bluster

Enhancing no-one’s existence but Gail with thy blowing

 

Unapologetic gusts, thine cussed traits

Meteorological mischief, curse of the Anemoi

Destruction bequeathed to flora and fauna

Disorientating avian avigation

Deteriorating joy for vacationing broods

Can thy not bestow respite from your fury betwixt spring and fall?

 

What bringeth thine contemporary pre-fall choler?

Is there no recess from daily toil?

Iberian peninsula beckons for your assuagement

Iberian peninsula can temper thine temper

Iberian peninsula has ‘all inclusive’ offers in selected hostelries

Caution required under midday solar flares, forget thee not thy factor 30

 

I share not the Isley Brothers sentiments about thee summer breeze

Agreeing not that you make me feel fine

Or indeed blow through the jasmine in my mind

Vacation require to rid your grey pallor

Rest thine weary limbs from relentless exertion

But if you go remember to turn off the immersion

 

Unrelenting summer breeze

Seemingly perennial companion of solar rays and precipitation

Diminishing comfort of suns flares in thy spite

Diminishing anthropilan pollen hauls

Diminishing once sturdy structures with thine bluster

Enhancing no-one’s existence but Gail with thy blowing

 

Unapologetic gusts, thine cussed traits

Meteorological mischief, curse of the Anemoi

Destruction bequeathed to flora and fauna

Disorientating avian avigation

Deteriorating joy for vacationing broods

Can thy not bestow respite from your fury betwixt spring and fall?

 

What bringeth thine contemporary pre-fall choler?

Is there no recess from daily toil?

Iberian peninsula beckons for your assuagement

Iberian peninsula can temper thine temper

Iberian peninsula has ‘all inclusive’ offers in selected hostelries

Caution required under midday solar flares, forget thee not thy factor 30

 

I share not the Isley Brothers sentiments about thee summer breeze

Agreeing not that you make me feel fine

Or indeed blow through the jasmine in my mind

Vacation require to rid your grey pallor

Rest thine weary limbs from relentless exertion

But if you go remember to turn off the immersion

 

——————————————————————–

Railway Town Termagant

“Are you keeping it?” inquired odious product of railway town

‘Overwhelmed’ at news of impending grand motherhood

Bereft of redeeming features the harridan hints at the unthinkable

Despite daughter one score and three summers, husband secure of employ

 

Virulent imbecile, gloom-ridden of demeanour

Sixty years wed to fellow imbecile

Although, opposites attract more than thy sham betrothal

Selfish meets soul bereft of endearing features, a doomed fusion

 

Fishwife, evolved without humanity or thought

Hobby dressing thy twins identically even in adulthood

Taints all suitors of thine dolls comparing to halfwit consort

Quite unbelievably you bear the mantle of brains of the outfit!

 

Virago without virtue

Job judgemental suits you not

Ne’er comforted thy incurable stricken doll

Ensuring positivity doesn’t darken thine door your ultimate priority.

 

When you meet your maker product of railway town

How will you reconcile thine rancid life?

I suspect he won’t countenance your tails from the tabloids

Your misguided self-righteousness augmented more by thy dolls

 

I conclude mine prose now seamstress

You deluded termagant proffering your doll married beneath her

You’re akin to faeces on my polished shoe sole

I can’t wait for a time when you’re hosed off for good!

 

Jardin Sanctuary

Kaleidoscopic sanctuary, redolent of perfume

Beautifying Castle of Englishman, with Caledonian moniker

Nurtured over a score summers with scheme and graft

Perennial pride of Englishman and stricken betrothed

Source of fleeting liberty from existential foreboding

Nature’s sword against unyielding angst

 

Jardin avec cornucopia of colour

Irises a sight for sore irises

Lilly the pink, not of Scaffold offering

Nectar rich foxglove stands stoic against mollusc’s relentless assault

Lavender bouquet fit for veiled half of matrimony’s bouquet

Horticultural majesty amongst suburbia of bustling metropolis

 

Diminutive garden in God’s own county

No water-feature like vast parkland of which to boast

Fret not David as thy allure cannot be usurped by Goliath

Your volition forbids aesthetic acquiescence to foes of scale

Hold thy petal rich stems vain-gloriously high

No peacock display can transcend thy multi-coloured splendour

 

Solar rays are no longer your bed fellow my kaleidoscopic sanctuary

Although capriciously seeking short term suitors in other climes

Fear not as their heart is yours, Englishman’s garden

A rendezvous may be only a handful of hours away

When the thirst quenching water bequeathed by the Englishman

Along with the warmth of their touch will re-invigorate once more.

————————————————————

Patron Saint of Spite

Indiscriminate cacodemon, lesions of evil

Patron saint of spite, malodorous mutation

Seven years of your malevolence weighs heavy, though I vow won’t break me

In spite of blighting an eighth of mine two score and fourteen summers.

 

Odious demigod, taunting from behind barrier incurable

You may win the war, but not every battle initiated

Mine betrothed lion-hearted in spirit wont acquiesce without scrap

Resistance ne’er futile with rancid foe as thee.

 

Posterior parked on broods existential chaise longue

Goading from position terminal and skeletal infiltration

Indestructible like the scarlet captain

But thy agenda of carnage, polar opposite of agent red.

 

Mutant cell, devoid of redeeming features

Will thy ever tire of the misery you bestow?

What manifests such vindictiveness?

Alma mater bullying, or role model rancid I’d conject.

 

Spiteful canker, no positive value to existence

Bar perhaps fellows in tall black hats and stockholder pharmaceutical

Your seven winter presence may have draining emotionally

Consequential resilience , though, usurps thy festering agenda.

———————————————-

Woodhouse Man

Woodhouse man
Brick house foundations bestowed upon brood
Deterring villainous wolf attentions
Encouraging predator to seek less secure footings.

Woodhouse man
Proud gentleman of white rose burgh
Undemonstrative, periphery your comfort zone
Unperturbed at allowing the less worthy centre stage.

Woodhouse man
In a shithouse world
Your gifts greater than the guinea or sovereign
Humanity, security, caring and selflessness thine riches bestowed.

Woodhouse man
No more undervalue thine contribution
Or decry your altruistic penchant
Instead, listen to quart score benefactors of thy self-sacrifice.

Woodhouse man
Coal house always replenished to warm thy clan
Sustenance and shelter remits unconditional
Those shouting louder, rant with less erudition.

Woodhouse man
Providing legacy of pure selflessness
In portal of misguided self-entitlement
Provision for brood thy unquestioning boon.

Woodhouse man
Thine discomfort in ailment
Felt emotionally analogous by distressed brood
Convalesce swiftly loving Woodhouse man.

———————————————-

The Only Outlet

Only outlet to bid au revoir?

Malcontent’s frustration, the gift that keeps giving

What respite for the tortured yeti?

Anger simmers at negative imbecilic cankers of one score and ten summers

Who’ve conspire with the carcinogenic canker of seven winters

With objective of diminishing yeti’s spirit; his melancholy to nurture.

 

Chewy’s enduring misfortune manifest a dwindling faith

Notions of future illumination of fortunes plummet despairingly

Half full crystal glass morphing to semi empty beaker

Damocles’ pristine dual sabres maintain menace above brood’s pates

Ambiguity reins at spousal & pater’s wellbeing, likewise future employ

Imperceptible support, enforced celibacy their burdensome accomplices.

 

Solitary outlet have one or three more for the road

Yeti prefers semi empty beaker to barren chalice

Allowing sole avenue diversion from existential misery

Realising the folly of epiphanies of negativism

Anger & bitterness, two bed-fellows he doesn’t wish to embrace

His only wish, continuance of that solitary outlet.

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