Opus To My Offspring

It’s early days yet, but I’m now into the swing of the programme to improve my fitness and diet. Pleasingly, thus far my discipline has remained intact, resulting in yours truly now consuming cherry tomatoes and strawberries when snacking, not to mention a healthier breakfast of porridge.

Since the programme’s inception, I’ve stayed clear of picking at slices of cheese, crisps and gummy sweets (a ‘go to’ writing companion). My other guilty pleasures, wine and le petit dejeuner of marmite on toast, remain unwelcome at my door.

Diet Changes

My fitness plan, a gentle re-introduction to the world of endorphin release, was devised by a personal trainer (PT). I may pass on the PT’s contact details to my daughter Rachel when she returns from Canada, as she’s always wanted to swim with endorphins…… Or is that dolphins?!

Rach, along with my sister Helen, are the daredevils in the immediate family. In Australia a few years back she swum in a tank with sharks. In addition she has partaken in many other risky extreme sports, like once telling my mum she was wrong about something!

Our Helen has undertaken parachute jumps, but has the sense to avoid some of the really dangerous activities her niece takes on…….. Such as telling our mum she’s wrong about something!

I’m delighted my daughter has a love of travel and extreme sports; a great trait to possess that will hopefully provide her with great life experiences. Despite having hobbies that include causing discord and lying she can go back in time, Rach has turned into a loving, caring, bright, s**t stirring liar of whom I’m very proud.

If you think I was being unkind to my offspring above, don’t worry as she won’t bear witness to my tongue in cheek jibes. The simple reason being, she refuses point blank to read them; her excuse being “They’ll be a right load of crap!”…… It looks like I missed astute from the above list of Rach’s qualities.

My son Jonny doesn’t exhibit his sister’s love of travel or devil may care, although he was once late for work by 10 minutes! He is a lot less high maintenance than his sibling though, and lights up a room with his smile….. Unlike his arsonist mum who lights up a room with her matches.

It’s comforting to witness my boy possesses the wherewithal to take himself out of his comfort zone. Despite reports to the contrary, he does leave McDonalds every now and again!

For all of the playful jibes at my offspring, I can’t put into words how proud I am at how they’ve developed into adults with humanity, humour, humus and lots of other attributes that starts with ‘hum’.

They are more like younger siblings to me than my children. The sort of cheeky little brother and sister who constantly take the pee out off you, cause discord and lie that they can travel back in time. Actually, I’m being unfair to Jonny, he’s never claimed he can regress to times gone by……. He reckons his time travel takes him into the future.

I commenced this narrative relaying how my healthier lifestyle change was progressing. As is my want though, I ventured off on a random sojourn about an unrelated subject.

Talking of unrelated, when I penned above that my son regularly smiles has made me ponder whether I should undergo a paternity test!

 

 

Blogs fiction humour Spoof News Stories

Gary Strachan View All →

2 kids who've flown the nest, 1 wife whose flown with Jet2. Born at a young age in 1960's Leeds, the author became interested in the literary life when his wife bought him a dog. Having an allergy to dogs, he swapped it for a typewriter. Being unable to train the typewriter to retrieve tennis balls, he reluctantly turned to writing...... Website - www.writesaidfred.org

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: